


Forged in the Heat of Battle

by killer_quean



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Crossover, F/F, Fluff, Holodecks/Holosuites, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killer_quean/pseuds/killer_quean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kira's never understood the appeal of the holosuites. But when Dax convinces her to try out the adventures of a certain warrior princess from ancient Earth, she begins to change her mind...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forged in the Heat of Battle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophiagratia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiagratia/gifts).



> This premise was entirely sophiegrace's idea! I just wrote it for her. Merry Christmas, sophiegrace! :)

"Dax!" said Kira as they met on the Promenade and walked together towards Quark's. "What the hell are you wearing?"   
"My costume! I brought one for you, too." Dax held up a small red bundle.  
"If it's anything like that," said Kira as she looked down at Dax's skimpy brown leather dress, accompanied by an improbable metal breastplate and some truly indescribable boots, "I'm not wearing it. I thought you said this was some kind of war game!"   
Dax smirked and drew her sword. "Oh, it is."   
"I never should have agreed to this," muttered Kira as Quark ran out from behind the bar, yelling, "No weapons! Put it away if you-- Dax? Is that you?" He looked dazed. Kira snarled at him.   
"We booked a holosuite," she said.   
"Of--of course, yes! Uh, hello, Major," he added hastily, not even bothering to look at her.  
They made their way through the crowded bar. "Uh, Lieutenant!" he called after them.  
"Yes?" said Dax.  
"I'd be happy to offer you a discount if you would be so kind as to invite me into this, er, special program you just ordered. Think about it."  
"OK, Quark," snapped Kira. "That's enough--"  
"Sure," replied Dax. "How about tomorrow night, 2100 hours?"   
"Really?" said Quark, bewildered. Kira looked at both of them in disbelief.  
"See you then," replied Dax with a smile as she and Kira disappeared into the holosuites.   
"Are you crazy?" whispered Kira. "Sometimes I just want to hit that little troll so hard he--"  
"Don't worry," said Dax. "That's more or less what's going to happen tomorrow night. Computer: execute program Xena-One."  
They were now standing atop a green hill, somewhere on Earth, sometime in ancient history--Kira couldn't quite remember if Dax had ever mentioned when. Kira heard a shout in the distance and saw smoke billowing from a nearby valley. She drew her phaser.  
"Oh, put that away!" said Dax. "We're on Earth, a few thousand years ago... I think. In a place called Greece--I'm pretty sure it's called Greece..." she stopped to think a moment. "Anyway, they don't have phasers! Come on, behind this tree!" She took Kira's hand and led her to a huge, windswept tree that stood alone at the top if the hill. "You have to put your costume on!"  
"Here?" shouted Kira. "I am never letting you talk me into this again!"  
"Oh, come on!" said Dax. "It'll be fun! Anyway," she said with a smirk, grazing her hand flirtatiously along the edge of Kira's high collar, "it wouldn't be the first time I'll have gotten you out of that uniform outside, in broad daylight, against a tree, if I recall correctly..."  
Kira grinned. "And to think I outrank you," she muttered.  
With only a few momentary distractions, Kira changed into the outfit Dax had replicated: a red embroidered bodice and a short red skirt. "I look ridiculous," she said. "Seriously, you expect me to fight in this?" She did like the heavy gold wrist cuffs, and the boots weren't bad, but she wasn't about to admit that.   
"Come on, reach into your boots!"   
Kira did, and found two light knives. "Ok, I like the look of these," she admitted. She slashed them through the air, experimentally, and they made a startlingly loud whooshing sound.   
Dax giggled. "That's my favorite part! Watch this!" She tossed her hair over her shoulder _(whoosh!)_ , turned her head to look dramatically behind her _(whoosh!)_ and pulled a sharp circle of metal from her belt _(really loud whoosh!)_   
"Just tell me where to point the knives and I'll be happy," said Kira, but with a smirk. Jadzia was clearly delighted with this weird, color-saturated world, and it was kind of cute.   
Dax pointed to the smoke in the distance. "I think there's trouble brewing over there. Let's go!"  
"That's it? We show up and fight them? Isn't there a plan? Who are they, anyway?"  
Dax shrugged. "Warlords, usually. And yeah, we just show up and, well, fight them!"  
"And who are we exactly?"  
"I'm Xena, warrior princess!" said Dax with the relish she usually reserved for Klingon drinking songs. "After ten years of violent conquest, I renounced my old ways and resolved to defend the world against evil." She started walking towards the valley, and Kira had no choice but to follow. "And you," she said to Kira with a grin, "are my sidekick, soulmate, fellow warrior, and best friend--" (she punctuated this with a flirtatious glance at Kira's short skirt) "...Gabrielle!"  
"Oh, I'm the sidekick?" muttered Kira. She broke into a run and led the way over the hill.   
They came to a small village besieged by heavily armed men wearing strange hats. They ducked behind a stable, out of sight.  
"Dax--"  
"You mean Xena."  
Kira rolled her eyes. " _Xena_ , we're outnumbered. We should follow them back to their hideout, sabotage their supplies, then ambush them later when--"  
"Nerys, this isn't a guerilla war. We're the heroes of the story."  
"What the hell does that mean?"  
"It means they're no match for us. That's the fun of it. Xena and Gabrielle always win, because they're the heroes."  
"Doesn't sound like any war I've ever been in," muttered Kira.  
"I know," said Dax. She thought a moment. "And maybe this just isn't the same thing for you as it is for me. Honestly, I just like being able to come in here and knock down ten guys at once without even thinking about it. The best is when Xena walks into a bar and some creep thinks he can flirt with her--"  
Kira smiled. "And you do everything I wish I could do to Quark's every night?"  
"Exactly! But instead of blowing up the dabo tables, I usually just set the roof on fire."  
"A sensible adaptation to local technology."  
Dax squeezed Kira's hand. "So, Nerys, how about we get in there and knock heads?"  
"Don't you mean _Gabrielle_?" replied Kira.   
Dax grinned and leapt into the air. After a truly improbable sequence of flips and somersaults, she landed right in the village square, taking down three of the men by landing on them. She knocked down another one and took out three more by kicking him at his comrades as they ran towards her.  
Kira shrugged, ran into the fray, then jumped to avoid a man charging at her with a sword, but instead of getting her just out of the way, as she'd predicted, her jump lifted her alarmingly high, and she felt herself twist and flip through the air (kicking down four men along the way). It felt like flying a raider, darting and flipping in all directions to dodge Cardassian fire. She landed on her feet, right in front of one of the armed men, who she knocked over with a kick and sent flying into a hastily abandoned market stall.  
"I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this," she said as she knocked two men's heads together and their helmets resounded with a satisfying clang.  
Dax grinned at her, then whipped around to punch a man who had tried to ambush her from behind. "You're in luck," she called out. "I think their leader's hiding out in this bar. Shall we?"  
  
Later, as they shared a table at Quark's, they were still giggling about the look on the ringleader's face when he'd seen his entire raiding party defeated by just two women. Kira had even gotten to set the roof of the bar on fire.   
Bashir and O'Brien sauntered out of the holosuites, still dressed for the Battle of Britain.   
"Ooh, a double date!" said Dax. "Come join us!"  
O'Brien shot her a withering look, while Bashir smiled and skipped over to their table.   
"Have a good fight?" asked Kira as they sat down.  
"Oh, yes!" said Bashir. "You should see this one in a Spitfire!" He clapped O'Brien on the shoulder.   
"Aw, Julian, let's not bore them with Earth history," said Miles.   
"Actually," said Dax, "We've been reenacting some ancient Earth history of our own!"  
"In the _holosuites_ ," added Kira. Bashir and O'Brien glanced at Dax. O'Brien looked impressed.  
"Really?" said Bashir. "What sort of Earth history?"  
"Xena!" said Kira. "Really, I had no idea you humans had heroes this compelling."  
"Who?" said O'Brien.  
"A mighty princess, forged in the heat of battle," intoned Dax. "Ancient Greece, I think. She knew Hercules."  
"Well, Hercules wasn't exactly _historical_ \--" said Bashir.  
"And she battled Julius Caesar," Dax continued proudly. "And she knew the woman who really wrote Lao Tzu's books!"  
"Now, hold on," said O'Brien. "This doesn't make any sense."  
"She killed her people's gods," added Dax. "Well, most of them."  
"You can't kill gods!" replied Bashir. "They're not real!"  
"Oh?" said Dax. "Try saying that to a Klingon."  
"Or a Bajoran," added Kira icily.  
Bashir fell silent. O'Brien rolled his eyes at him.  
"Oh!" said Dax, "There's one where she meets Beowulf! You guys'll like that one!" O'Brien looked confused, Bashir looked pained, and Kira simply asked who this wolf person was.  
"Beowulf," explained Bashir, "is the hero of an Anglo-Saxon epic dated tentatively between the eighth and eleventh centuries..." He went on for quite some time, until he noticed the glazed looks of his audience, which prompted him to add sheepishly, "Garak and I were just discussing _Beowulf_ at some length last week. I made him read it after slogging through yet another Cardassian novel."  
"What Julian's _trying_ to say," said O'Brien, "is that first, Beowulf wasn't real, and second, real or not, he certainly could't go around meeting people who also met Julius Caesar!"   
"She also met Sappho," added Dax helpfully. O'Brien simply let his face sink into his palm, slowly shaking his head.  
"Oh well," said Dax. "If you guys don't like it, then I guess we'll have nobody to play Joxer the Mighty when we come back tomorrow."  
"Joxer... the Mighty?" said Julian.  
"Yeah," said Kira. "I mean, I guess Quark'll have to do it. Since he'll be there."  
"Quark?" said Miles with a disgusted look on his face.   
"No," said Julian nobly. "A land in turmoil cries out for a hero! I shall have to play Joxer the Mighty!"  
Dax grinned at Kira conspiratorially.   
"You in, chief?" asked Kira.  
"No," he said. "I'm on duty tomorrow. But I can ask Keiko if she's free. She's, uh, been a little resentful that she can't join me and Julian sometimes."   
"She's welcome to join us!" said Dax. "I know exactly who she could play."  
   
The next day, Kira, Dax, Julian, and Keiko gathered at Quark's. Rom was behind the bar this time, and he noted their reservation. He seemed too harried to even notice their odd costumes: Kira and Dax were dressed as they were the day before, while Keiko was wearing an outfit quite a lot like Dax's, but made out of very intimidating black studded leather. Meanwhile, Julian trotted behind them, weighed down by his clanging, hodgepodge armor. (Well, it sort of resembled armor, Julian thought. It also sort of resembled a deflector dish latched onto an out-of-commission Bolian freighter with defective self-sealing stem bolts. But, Dax had insisted, the costume was exactly what his character was supposed to wear.)  
 "My brother!" Rom called out as he led the group to their holosuite. "Your, uh, friends are here!"  
Quark emerged from a dim hallway, wearing only an unsettlingly short purple bathrobe. He grinned at Dax, but his smile quickly faded into a suspicious glower when he saw that she wasn't alone. "Hey, what are _they_ doing here?" He leered at Keiko. "Whoa... does Miles know you're dressed like that?"  
"Shut up, Quark!" Kira replied as she reached for her knives.  
"Is he really invited?" Keiko asked the Major with a disgusted look.   
"You know, that costume of yours comes with a sword," Kira whispered to her. Keiko smiled.  
Dax eyed Quark's bathrobe. "You're the one who's not dressed for your part! Why aren't you wearing that costume I left for you?"  
"I thought, you know, this was one of those _special_ holoprograms! Like _Naked Time With Captain Kirk_."   
"What?" snapped Kira.  
Quark shrugged. "I don't know, Morn likes that one. The point is, I thought that maybe you two ladies would, uh--"  
"I don't want to hear the rest of this," interrupted Kira. "If you want to play, get dressed."  
"You're playing a warlord named--"  
"No, no, no," said Quark. "I'm going to play someone much more illustrious." He disappeared behind a door.  
"Look, if you're not interested..." called Dax.  
"Hey!" was Quark's muffled reply. "You want your discount, don't you?"  
When he re-emerged, he was dressed in his everyday clothes. "There. Your little story has now gained a brilliant, dashing, handsome character named... Quark."  
Everyone else groaned in unison, but as everyone shared the unspoken agreement that this was a definite step up from the purple bathrobe, they let him follow them into Holosuite 3.   
  
"That was by far the best time I've ever had in the holosuites," said Kira later that evening, when she and Dax finally returned to Kira's quarters.   
"Keiko is an amazing Callisto," said Dax.   
"She's certainly good with a sword," remarked Kira. "Who knew?"  
"Uh-oh," said Dax suddenly. "I think we left something in the holosuites."  
Kira smirked. "Nah, your costume's just over there on the floor."  
"No," said Dax with a laugh. "It's just-- well, we finished the story--"  
"Yeah," said Kira, "We saved Joxer and Quark from being dropped off a cliff by Callisto..." She turned to look at Dax. "But the last time we saw them, they were still tied up in Callisto's cave. Ok, you gotta admit, that's kind of funny. I mean, unless you think we should be nice and go back to untie them?"   
Dax smiled. "Well... my costume's all the way over there on the floor. Nah. I'm sure Joxer the Mighty will come through in the end."  
And indeed he did (though with more than a little help from Rom.)

Quark was more irritable than usual for a few days afterward, but he forgot about as soon as his next scheme distracted him with the promise of latinum. Bashir, on the other hand, was heard all over the station singing a funny little song to himself for days:  
 _Joxer the Mighty_  
 _Roams through the galaxy_  
 _Solving science mysteries,_  
 _With Garak always nearby,_  
 _But he's a tailor, not a spy_  
 _Fighting interstellar crime,_  
 _Being clever all the time,_  
 _He's Joxer--Joxer the Mighty!_  
The holosuites, Dax thought to herself as Bashir launched into yet another round of his song right in the middle of Ops, really _did_ have something for everyone.  
  



End file.
